I realised that I never tell my children I am going to teach them something. It’s not a deliberate, stubborn rejection of the word or the idea. Simply, I just don’t see myself as the kind of person who teaches.
I show them lots of things.
We discover and learn together.
But I don’t teach them.
Teaching often feels like something that is being done to you, but I believe it’s actually something you do for yourself.
When I was small, the impression I got from people who liked to teach was that you had to be particularly clever to be one of them. That once you had reached a certain level of knowledge, the natural next step was to pass it on to others. To teach… or preach.
I think I’ve always felt a little uncomfortable with the idea of arriving at a place where you become the person who knows, rather than the person who is still finding out. I hope I always remain curious.
If someone shows me how to do something a time or two, maybe even facilitates me with a book, video or tools of one kind or another, then I can “teach” myself how through practice, hard work, determination and perseverance. If I enjoy what I’m learning, then I often learn quicker and have a deeper understanding. If I feel confident enough, then I can show someone else.
By not seeing myself as someone who teaches, it helps me to view my children as capable individuals whose days and lives are not divided up into academic subjects.
Life is much more wonderful that way. Simply being alongside them as the world opens up, a little more each day.
I can attest that my children still ask “WHY?” a hundred times a day! They are curious. They want to know all the ins and outs. I could quickly kill their love of learning by announcing that it is time for Science and that now I will teach them, instead of just showing them something cool, answering their questions and letting them try for themselves.
And of course, I plan behind the scenes of our days together. In fact, I spend a huge amount of time looking for ways to enrich my children’s days and keep them curious. Being careful not to coerce my children, I can still create opportunities for them to discover, adventure and reach their potential. Strewing, reading, showing and experiencing. Modelling my own love of learning too, by making time for my own interests and endeavours.
You might argue that I’m splitting hairs. Being picky. That teaching and showing are one and the same.
I think people sometimes dismiss distinctions as semantics without understanding why those distinctions matter to the person making them. Choosing one word over another can reveal a great deal about a person or an underlying difference in philosophy.
I don’t want to parent from a position at the front with all the answers. I’m still learning too.
© 2026 Juliette Proffitt
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