Do you ever feel like you’re drowning in a sea of emotions, struggling to stay afloat amidst waves of loneliness, sadness, or overwhelm? You’re not alone. I have felt like that recently myself. I always know when I’m in need of a little more TLC and compassion, usually when I find myself welling up, unawares at various points in the day. Just as a sponge submerged in water begins to leak if you hold it up, we also leak when things get too heavy. Experiencing emotions is part of being human. Life is a rollercoaster of ups and downs, and it’s ok to feel every twist and turn along the way.

We are notorious as a race for attempting to push these feelings aside, pretending they don’t exist. We often resort to masking our emotions or sweeping them under the rug, hoping they’ll disappear. Yet, the reality is that suppressing our emotions only leads to more stress in the long run.

What would really help us is to understand how to recognise what we’re feeling and to know how to help ourselves regulate these emotions. Therapy is undoubtedly the best option to help us unlock and unravel our issues but not everyone can afford the cost of going. Many people may experience shame or stigma when seeking the right help and therefore will never talk themselves through the door in the first place.

THIS GUIDE IS INTENDED TO HELP YOU LEARN HOW TO HELP AND SUPPORT YOURSELF THROUGH DIFFICULT TIMES.

1. Feel Your Emotions:

Firstly, allow yourself to feel whatever you’re feeling without judgment. Can you identify whether it’s sadness, loneliness, overwhelm or something else? Acknowledge that your emotions are valid. Remember, it’s ok not to be ok and it’s common not to know exactly what you are experiencing in terms of feelings sometimes too. This is why it’s helpful to take time to sit and just be.

2. Sit with Them a While:

An interesting experiment to observe on yourself is to invite your emotions in for a cup of tea instead of bolting the door and pretending not to be home. Sit with them, explore them, and try to understand where they’re coming from. Sometimes, just allowing their presence can ease their intensity. Notice how you feel as each five minutes pass. Can you get to a place where you feel their strength lessen? With practice you will quickly name you’re feelings and can then take steps to recognise what triggered them.

3. Ride the Wave:

Emotions really are like waves that come and go. Don’t focus on finding reasons why you shouldn’t be feeling the way you do. Instead, tell yourself that you’re reacting to something you find uncomfortable and allow it to ebb and flow. Take some time to control your breathing with slow, even breaths. Some people find tapping very helpful in reducing feelings of anxiety or increased heart rate. Try pressing or rhythmically tapping the spot between your eyebrows, between your nose and top lip or your chin. Rotate between these areas as needed.

4. Build Your Toolkit:

Educate and equip yourself with strategies to cope with difficult emotions. Do some research into what other people find effective that you can try too. Whether it’s meditation, journaling, having a lie-down or going for a walk in nature, find what works for you. Emotional Toolkits are not nonsense. They are vital for stressful times. Being able to identify and accept your emotions is one thing but being able to effectively manage them is another. Your emotional toolkit serves as your arsenal. It’s not about distracting or ignoring your emotions, but rather about acknowledging them and responding to them in a healthy way. By investing time and effort into building your toolkit, you’re investing in your own well-being and emotional health.

5. Reach Out for Support:

I am no stranger to feeling lonely or misunderstood at times. It can be hard to ask for help especially when you are trying to be brave. You are brave and you mustn’t doubt it. It takes a whole lot of bravery to live a life. But, beauty and healing are found with honesty. Reaching out to friends, family, or a therapist for support when you need it. Saying “This is hard, I feel lost. I’m too sad right now and need support,” gives being brave the strength it needs to move forward a step or two and believe that it will all pass.

If you found this post helpful, please do let me know in the comments and be sure to subscribe so you can read the next part of this series. It’s all about how to cope with disappointment when those you want to lean on can’t be there for you, in the way that you need.

© 2024 Juliette Proffitt

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