The days can sometimes be long as adults and all sorts of things can leave us weary. I could easily forgive you for being short a time or two with people when perhaps the only real reason is that you’re tired.

It does us all good to ponder on how insignificant all the fault finding is. How unhelpful and unnecessary? Where does it actually get us?

Does impatiently pointing out how slow or incapable a person is to find an answer, actually make them suddenly find it? Do they miraculously discover the capability to comprehend any more clearly or quickly when we get cross, snappy or shout?

What is truly learnt or achieved?
People respect you a little less, feel wary of you and worse about themselves. How long will they carry the weight of your exasperated glare or insults with them?

Too slow, too soft, too loud, too sensitive, too much trouble to bother with.

When my children look anxious or insecure, if I’ve snapped or sighed that day, it can sometimes take until the stillness of the evening for me to realise.

I know from experience that all it takes is a moment of humiliation or a bid for connection to be brushed aside and I’m left feeling hurt.

It takes only a few short but well chosen words even now, from a grown up to propel me back to moments in childhood when I was made to feel stupid or inadequate. A nuisance.

Those weary adults whose interactions over the years I carried dutifully in a heavy bag towards a finish line designed for no winners.

It takes a lot of effort and patience not to criticise or shame each other when we live in a culture that’s fast and competitive. It doesn’t help anything to diminish someone’s spirit.

People remember how you made them feel when they needed understanding and compassion more than they remember how important you think you are.

© 2024 Juliette Proffitt ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

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