The truth is, I don’t always give enough of my attention to each of my children. It’s a horrible feeling when you know you’ve not filled their bucket.

There are times it’s perfectly ok to say “Not right now love.” When you’ve been on all day entertaining their every whim or you’re taking a quiet five minutes to chill and you say “No more.”

I certainly do!
But I’m talking about the times you know they really need more and you can’t step up. The offer of a hug or a story on your knee won’t suffice and they just want you to look, listen, talk or play.

I’ve come to realise that these times come and go in waves. For the most part I am here, willing and available. An abundance of love and ideas. There are times I want a little more peace and a little less action. The children don’t understand. They can’t. If I try to pull myself back into their world before I’m ready, I’m a preoccupied or mediocre substitute for the mother I want to be.

All I can do at those times is keep my arms and communication open to them. My tone reassuring and warm. I am still a good mum.

One with screens, chocolate and beans on toast for tea!

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